That Guy

So we had a post about "That Girl", so it's only fitting we have a post about "that guy".   Now that guy is a little bit different from that girl in that fact that being that guy is mostly a good thing unlike that girl.  That guy is a smooth talker, that guy has good manners, that guy is a good dresser and that would be perfect with any parent.  See on the surface TG seems to be the perfect catch.  He will always approach YOU at a bar, football game, any social setting, say something so interesting and intriguing that you are hooked in the convo.  Then you start to notice, well he's kinda cute, well dressed, very nice, smart and interacting with my friends, these are all great signs TG is a good guy!  TG always buys drinks, always has a great job and is just working his way right on up to the top.  He always has tons of friends and makes sure to say hello to everyone he knows.  That's the plan TG wants to seem friendly nice and interested in you, but let you know he is Mr. Popular and you probably aren't his only option.  He also agrees with most things you say, of course he would like to play tennis with you tomorrow, take your dogs to the dog park, grab some lunch and browse in the Lilly store, nothing would be finer on a nice afternoon. 

Now here ladies is where we have to take our stand...DON'T FALL FOR THAT CRAP!  If he really likes you and does want to play dolls/have tea/meet your parents especially your dad, why not just wait til tomorrow and see if he calls.  Then you can prove he is NOT TG :)  But as we all know how the Cinderella stories goes, we find our prince he slips on the glass slipper and we are goners, gone to his car, gone to his apartment (we hope it's his), gone to his bed, gone home in the AM :(  And guess what that night probably gone out of TG's mind forever.  Although TG is very friendly so when you text him or FB stalk him and send him a message he is going to respond because like I said TG has manners.  He will not be rude and mean and never in person either, he will say hi and have some conversation about how you ya'll never went to that ballet or concert together, yet again reeling you in making you think he cares.  Bottom line TG is a nice guy, he just can't commit to being nice to just one girl and yet again TG has slept with everyone because he is a sweet smooth talker was raised right and knows how to talk to women.  He actually doesn't know how smooth he is and how he makes all the panties drop, but he isn't turning panty droppers away either.  So ladies be ware of "That Guy" he's out there too.  TG also has a million FB friends because he is a nice guy and really tries to be friends with everyone.  So if you evaluate your friends on FB the guy with 2000+ friends in probably TG, I mean really how can anyone know that many people.

So ladies TG is always a really good listener, friend to hang out with, share drinks with (he buys remember), play tennis with, dog sit, WEDDING date (forgot to mention, he's a pretty good dancer) so overall he's a great person, just remember EVERYONE thinks he's great and not all girls have self control.  So take a look around the bar and imagine that he has probably slept with half of the girls in there and their nasty germs will be on you if you GO THERE with THAT GUY!

Have a good weekend!  And if you are looking for a good hook-up, that guy is a good choice, he's got experience!

That Girl

Everyone knows "that girl", that girl that is too flirty, that girl who hangs all over everyone, that girl who thinks she is best friends all the guys, that girl who blows up everyone's facebook wall, that girl everyone has hooked up with.  Well my friend J and I have determined a new way of picking out potential guys.  First and foremost you must always stalk their facebook profile and immediately go to mutual friends and if he is friends with "that girl", then adios!  Yep, and especially if she blows up his wall and is all over that, for sure something you don't want a part of.  I mean there are always nights when we have had too much to drink, the problem is "that girl" is sooo desperate she will go home with anyone... so everyone has probably hooked up with "TG".  Because in the am, when you try to kick "TG" out of bed (or that pm if you are a real jerk/realize what just happened) she is immediately going home and friending you on facebook and probably writing what a wonderful time she had with you.... that let's us all know you hooked up with "TG".  Because she does not have enough self respect to wait for you to friend her and because secretly she knows that you won't. So no one wants to date/hook-up with "TG's" leftovers, so forget about it...unfriend that hooker and help yourself with all the awesome FB stalker ladies out there.

 Also don't say you are friends with "TG" because you are so nice and friends with everyone.... BS if you were so nice then you would've called me back, would not have hooked up with my sister/best friend/cousin and most certainly wouldn't have told all your friends about it.

So fellas out there avoid "TG" and in every circle she is different and there could be more than one in any circle.  I most def could've been "TG" in someones circle, and hopefully in the PAST and hopefully lots of people didn't notice.

 So "THAT GIRL" this is a warning to you, NO ONE really likes you, so just quit your fake bullshit and be the person you really are, more likely to have a lot more real friends.  Just stop trying so hard to fit in, because you don't and you won't :(  Sorry sad face, but most people realize when people are being themselves, so just accept who you are and try each day to better yourself and I'm sure someone out there will like you....eventually... there always has to be "THAT GUY" out there and maybe you two can find each other and bring smiles and rainbows to everyone around.

Loose on the Neuse

Well that is exactly what is was, LOOSE ON THE NEUSE!  And boy did everyone cut loose.  Let me give a little background here.  I have some peeps that started the "Float", what you do is get a bunch of rafts and float down the NASTY neuse as we Smithfield people call it, but I guess a little further upstream, water is water and you just have fun in it.  Although the water up there seems a little different than the chocolate milk that floats by the Little Brown Jug and Neuse Little Theater, just saying.  So anyway, now thanks to FB, you just make a little invite on there and send to everyone you know to bring your float and your beer and just hang out and float down the river on the 3rd Saturday in July (if you are interested for next year).  So we gather bright and early, around 7:30am at the finishing point.  Please make sure to bring only what you need, do not blow up your float prior to arrival, sunscreen, snacks, no towels (no room) and don't forget the extra float for your COOLER!!  So we get shuttled down to the drop off/put in point...because it's really smart to have your cars so accessible when drunkenly getting out of the chocolate milk :)  But I guess it is the best plan because no one else wants to be responsible for your drunk ass once you are off the river.... even if you knee is gushing blood and you just can't seem to get your feet on those rocks and make it out of the river and you sure as heck can't find your flip flops, your cooler or your float.  Oh well, I used my Koozie as a band aid, flip flops were old navy $5 because somehow I knew that would happen, my beer was in Stuart's cooler (you're welcome, although I prob drank most of them since you were drinking water down the last stretch) and yeah well my float did make it into my car but our other two passengers abandoned ship!
So there is also an award for who has the best float and this year it went to a group of guys who built a tiki bar/well thing that housed a KEG... yep that's right folks, we in the country can figure out how to build a float that can float a KEG of beer down the river!  Awesome they deserved the win!  Although there were some other really awesome floats and could compare some Masonboro masterpieces!  There was a 9 seater float, with a tailgate tent on top, several 6 seaters and one seadoo float that looked like a giant hot tub and played music! 
So you blow up your floats, get down in the chocolate milk, tie up with your besties, or people you can stand to be beside, get peed on by, dunked in chocolate milk, and possibly puked on because you are stuck with those people for like 5-6 hours... .yes that is how long it takes.  Although there are stops along the way, there is a rope swing, where guys like to show their manhood and climb up so very high and do flips and shit and act like they are not hurt when they smack face first into the water.  There is also a little bank where the awesome JOSH paddles ahead and cooks HOT DOGS... and should you ask, but yes they are RED!  Then there is alittle rapids, tiny little spot to go through, so when you have 10 floats tied together, IT'S AWESOME, so hold onto your beer.
And it would not be a trip to C-TOWN or a day without CLAYTON peeps with out a good FIGHT!   That's right folks, fist were flying, chocolate milk a splashing and good ole KING OF MOUNTAIN ensued...too bad I was a little to far ahead to this see.  Don't worry it almost started up again at the departure point.  I'm just convinced the equation of CLAYTON BOYS + BEER= FIGHTING!  It's just a proven fact, just everyone think about any spring break in history...oh yes the Clayton peeps over in "The Beverly" hotel would always wanna meet Smithfield peeps on the beach and whoop ass.  But that is so long ago, but glad to see the tradition continues!

So happy floating ya'll, get your floats, your beers, your peers, your brass knuckles (kidding, really kidding) and just enjoy some good old fun and conversation without Blackberry's, i-pods, laptops etc.... Sometimes it's fun to turn that shit off and ENJOY LIFE and NATURE!!!

There's the keg in the well looking thing

another photo of keg

Empty KEG

Little Rapids, boys watching us get tossed around

Group blowing up floats for departure

Rope Swing!!

A little Shotgun and Beach Ball on the river

White Marlin

White Marlin Relaxin'





So on this latest fishing trip I decided my calling in life is the be the first white girl country rapper and my name is going to be White Marlin and I'm going to rap about fishing, country stuff and girl stuff.  I might wear a chain and for my first purchase might have to be a Grille..you know what I mean with the word HOLD'N in diamond across the front.  I will also be filming my first video on the Chainlink, Kim Booker will be my official photographer, my Reel Hookers will be my back up dances, Jim and Carrie Dale will follow us on their boat and be the filmers and Samantha Screech Powers will be our film director because let's face it she is the only person I know with expeirence.



Ok so maybe I'll put my first rap out there right now and about my first fishing trip.

My name is White Marlin and I'm here to say
You just can't fish like this every single day


Got my reel hookers and we paid our money     

Had our first mate get rid of his Honey
We loaded up the Chainlink and we're headed Deep
I got my chick fila sandwichs and my peeps
Ballyhoo's all strung up and ready to go
Later on there might be some booty's shaking low
We have to set out before that sun be risin'

Sixty miles out, seeing nuttin' but horizon

Eight thirty am and we're putting lines in

Hopin' we catchin' that big blue Mar-lin

I'm gonna get cha, I'm gonna get cha
Look out fishies cause I'm gonna get cha


Fighting that Fighting Chair



We're crusin' and we're boozin' out on the sea
Oh shit, Fish on, whose turn.. DEB-BIE
She's a reeln' real hard, get that fish in da boat
Damn a big fish, gonna get a C-note
Up in the boat Jonathan brings our first Marlin
With these reel hookers, don't be calling us darlin'


DJ turn it up and let's shake the Big ole' Booty
Oh Shit, Fish on, whose turn, it's Ashley
Her booty working hard in the fightin' chair
Got another big one, didn't mess up her hair
She's a tossin' and turn' and fighting hard
She's a big deal, might need a bodyguard

Oh Shit, Fish on, whose turn, THERE'S TWO


Dawn looks over, says it's me and YOU

"D" takes that sucker up to the bow
I'm on the back, Ralph's backing down

Double Header, that's right we got us a pair

Cold beer, deep breath, love that salty air

Oh Shit, Fish On, whose turn, TWO AGAIN
Georgia and Lori, gonna make us win


G tosses her drink, right over the side

Lori's not gonna be a bow ornament this time
These two timers are champs and hookers
Other boats are swarming, lot's of onlookers

7 white Marlins on our tourney trip
That's really makes us all wanna strip
So we string our bikini tops on the lines
Marlin flags all lined up ready to shine
We round the corner, bout to back it in


Victory Flags



Reel Hookers, raise your glass and show that grin

So all you fellas out there lookin' for a hooker
I got 6 of them and they are all real lookers
They can hold the pole and reel 'em in
They can shake their booty and drink that gin
So give us a call if need a good time
We'll make sure there's Marlin on you lines!





Bikini tops





Reel Hookers Relaxin'



There's lots of fishies in the sea...or there WAS!

Ha  I went on my first deep sea fishing trip this past weekend with my lady friends and our team is named the "Reel Hookers" and that is just what we did.  We had the "CHAINLINK" boat chartered out of Morehead City for the Cape Fear Marlin Tournament out of Wrightsville Beach.  It was a great first experience for me.  I went with my old roomie Ashley, her aunt Georgia, her friends Dawn, Debbie and Lori!  So this tournament is a lot different than big rock, we are basically the only ladies around, and def the only ladies fishing team.  The first day we caught 3 dolphin and 1 white Marlin.   The second day we set records and caught 6 white marlins and they were all double headers (which mean two at a time)...pretty much the same meaning in the REAL Hooker world...haha  I guess, I've never been a hooker and certainly not for two people at once which is what I would assume a double header is...or maybe something I learned on Law and Order:SVU.  You are always learning some new stuff on that show.  But anyways back to our story, we fished 2 out of 3 days and we were done by the first two days.  Then we just had to sit and wait for the last day of fishing.  And Guess what WE WON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!    It was so awesome, my first trip and to be that lucky.  I'm addicted.   And the people at the tournament were so nice, not that snobby rich ladies from big rock.  People were actually excited for us.  So it was a great trip. 
So I've been so busy and in such a great mood lately, I haven't written any blogs.  I promise to get back to it.
Here are some pic's.   And of course I couldn't forget my favorite holiday JULY 4th!!!  I have a pic to represent and Kim and I went on the boat with Jim and Carrie to Mason's inlet and it was awesome as always, to cap off a great weekend.

 

 

Dress up is for all ages

Hopefully if you are reading this you are one of my friends and you know me and know that I love dressing up.  In fact in our old house we had a whole closet dedicated to dressing up, called the dress up "Box".  Which began to overflow and became a whole room/attic/closet thing.  We have acquired many different accessories along the way, there are the always famous LANE DANCE ACADEMY costumes, with all the matching hats, feather head bands, sequin canes, sequin wristlets, etc.  Then there are the various Halloween costumes that seem to navigate their way into the dress up BOX, also there are various past sporting event outfits, old uniforms, skits from school plays, student government skits, sorority recruitment outfits etc.  Then there are the REAL clothes, that are probably the best part old prom dresses, old JORTS, old hats, clothes from when my mother was younger, now clothes from when I was a child and just all sorts of fun stuff.  The dress up BOX is one of my favorite places to visit.  Whenever you are in need of sorority mixer outfit, a themed party, a Halloween costume of just dressing up for fun, it's the best place to visit.  The inspiration for this blog came from a 1 year old birthday party I went to this weekend.  My friend Liz's twin little girls Izzie and Addie had their first birthday party this weekend and the theme was carnival.  It was soooo cute and she did a great job.  There was a photo booth set up with a dress up box, to dress up and take your picture and write a message to the birthday girls and they were going to make an album for them, what a great idea.  And guess who loved it THE ADULTS!!!!   Every time I looked over some adult was putting on those costumes it was great.  I think every party should have a photo booth or at least dressing up.  So not only is Liz the creative party planning mommy, but she also makes hair bows, cakes and other fun things for her little girls, she actually made them matching Tutu's.  I liked them so much I asked her if she would make ME one... and she said YES!!!  She is actually making us both one, which we plan on sporting this weekend at our most excellent friend Kim's 21st Birthday Party.   I mean we are getting into the last years in our 20's, why not just dress up and have the best time.  Who care what people think!!!!   So I'm always up for dressing up and going to themed parties and vow to never have another party without a theme!

I will certainly add pic's from the 1 year old b-day party and pic's from the 21st birthday celebration this weekend.  I will also add some of my favorite dress up moment's courtesy of the dress up BOX from the Royall household in Smithfield, NC and visitors are always welcome.  The only rule is, everything must be returned, I know you who are out there who still have our stuff.  Also if you just happen to have left your prom dress at my house, it has now been donated to the BOX and once it's been in the BOX, it isn't coming out...sorry.  But you are welcome to borrow it!!!   hahahaha

Skirts are not for running

On the way to work EVERYDAY I see these ladies walking/running around the neighborhood in skirts.  Yes skirts!  I believe they are what normal people would call tennis skirts.... hence the word TENNIS, to be worn while playing tennis.  They are not running skirting, exercising skirts, walking skirts..etc.  I mean who wants to walk in a skirt anyway.  Don't your legs rub together, don't your legs sweat, don't you get SWAMP ASS!  GR--OSS    So it makes me ponder why do they wear these skirts to walk.  Because they are pretty, they want to look sexy, they want to look girly, they want to pick on men on their morning strolls???  I mean if you have really skinny legs then just wear shorts, if your legs are skinny then they don't rub together, your shorts don't ride up and you could even wear those really tight biker shorts and not look like the Say Yes to the Dress Big Bliss brides who stuff themselves into a MERMAID dress (TOTALLY another topic and one of my fav shows).  People wear them for tennis because it provides flexibility on the court that shorts do not.  You are not doing such strenuous running that you need all that flexibility, plus I don't want to see your crotch or butt hanging out on my drive to and from work.  Keep it covered ladies.  So just be normal and wear shorts to exercise like every other normal person on the planet.  I mean your rich hot husband is already at home waiting for you, so stop trying to show off and steal other people's men.


Here are some examples of what I don't want to see... especially your CROTCH.