Way back when, you met someone at church, school etc, you knew them and their "people" and they knew you and "your people" and he called you, met you at the pep rally, youth group and asked you to the movies. The movies was always the first step....great first date huh, let's sit quietly and not talk to each other and laugh awkwardly at the moments we think are funny, but not too loud because that might be embarrassing. Then maybe you grab an ice cream, hamburger. Yes way back when we ate movie popcorn & candy and then had ice cream and a cheeseburger, there were no diets, anorexia or skinny people as far as I remember, also less IBS and gastro issues..hmmmm. And that was pretty much it, you then liked each other became BF/GF by sharing a broken heart necklace, rode together to and from school and possibly a promise ring. Seems simple and it worked right?? Why can't we just go back to that. Straight old style courtship, boy sees girl, boy asks girl out, boy and girl go to movies, boy and girl go steady, boy girl graduate high school and get married and live happily ever after. Wellllllll because are website like TINDER, that offer variety, variety, variety.
Tinder my friends in the new version of HOT or NOT website, where you used to scroll through prospectives of the opposite sex and rate them HOT or NOT on a scale of 1-10, then it would tell you what others had ranked them. If you were so bold, you could put your own picture up there and see if the world thought you were HOT or NOT. I always found it more entertaining to put up my friends or enemies pictures (unbeknownst to them) and see if the world thought they were HOT or NOT???? If they were HOT, I would share the link, if not just kept that little secret to myself. SOOOOO now Tinder has the same concept, you post 5-6 pictures of yourself, it list your age, name and location (by zip code) and you can add 1 quote. So as a female I can set my preference to guys (and yes I say guys, not men) ages 25-35 (yes guys, some girls like younger men too, you didn't invent that trick) and distance of 25 miles. The app will then list/show pic's of guys that meet these search requirements. That's it, that's all you have to go on, sex, age and distance. What not how many bedrooms, how many baths, square footage, exterior, lot size... I mean you can discriminate so much more on looking for houses than you can for husbands. So here we go.... A pic pops up, I can then scroll through his 6 pics, see his age, name (if that's really his name), distance and what facebook friends we have in common. WAIT WAIT WAIT, you are telling me I can now see if we "kinda" know each other or have mutual friends. Now to the average person this might not matter, but to the average woman, who (news alert) are MAJOR STALKERS, this makes this app much more amazing. So now I can see who we have in common, get on facebook, look through their friends and find this guys facebook profile, SCORE and all in a matter of 2 minutes (and if he's not smart, which most guys on FB aren't, his profile isn't even private), so JACK POT! I can see like 50 pics, his quotes, his interest, his favorite movies, his ex-GF's, his mom, his brother (oh he's cute too), his dad (yes, he will still be hot in 30 years because his dad is), what he's been doing the last 5 weekends. So now I can really judge if I like this guy or not. And well I probably won't like him after I looked at all his info. I mean I didn't see a boat in any of his pic's, he has not been to the beach in the last month, his ex-GF is REALLY Skinny, but not that pretty, his friends are cute and look fun, but he's just not my type.
---So dudes out there YES THIS IS WHAT GIRLS DO!!! So if you don't want her to see something don't post it, or make yourself private. Because I guarantee prior to meeting this girl, she knows more about you than probably some of your best friends. And be sure if you met her at the bar before the sun comes up, she already has all the info she needs to decide if she will friend you on Facebook or wait for you to friend her. That is just a heads up for the DUDES reading this.
Ok so back to TINDER, so I'm scrolling through looking at guys and after about 20 douchebag looking dudes I find one that yes might peak my interest, so I go for it and I click the "heart". Yes your options are "Heart" or "X". Now here is the tricky part and sometimes disappointing part, if he has already viewed you and clicked "heart" as well then it will notify both of you and then you can now chat. If it doesn't immediately say you matched, then he either hasn't seen you or clicked "X". And after a moment of that guy wasn't that hot anyway bashing in my head, on to the next dude and here we go again. So after about 20 mins I've successfully liked about 10 dudes out of 100 (wow, I'm a little more picky than I thought or maybe the options out there are slim) and I've matched with 9 out of 10. So what to do now, do I message them, do I wait for them to message me. I personally play the waiting game, I mean either he's into me enough to send a message or he isn't. BTW guys, grow some balls and if you are into a girl message her, call her, send her a text, ask her out. We all get rejected, get over get and tuck your tears and broken hearts back up in your balls and ask a dang woman out. Most women, simply WANT TO BE WANTED! It's really that simple, you are nice, you are cute, you ask her out and make her feel wanted and that you want to hang out with her, YOU ARE IN. You are very welcome for that secret.
So now I just wait for people to message me and say dumb stuff like...... Hi, hey girl hey, hello, how was your day? Really those are the best things you could come up with to say to your future wife that you met online through a dating app by only thinking she was hot and hitting "heart"? Damn where is that show NEXT when you need it. Goodness that was a great show, if you didn't like the date you just said "NEXT" and the date had to leave and the next one came around the corner. If only life was really like that, well maybe not because I'm pretty sure I would say something bitchy and get nexted.
So here are the best parts about this online app... the pic's guys put up. You just make it too easy for me to make fun of you. So here's the part of the blog you were waiting for the TINDER pic's and commentary.
Name of pic: Selfie no shirt
Def from guy: I'm hot and want to show you my muscles in the mirror, but don't want to ask one of my dudes to take a shirtless picture of me.
Def from girl: Wow you don't have just one friend that could've taken your picture? And you should prob put your shirt back on
Frequency of this pic through out Tinder: WAY TOO DAMN MUCH
Name of pic: Too cool for school
Def from guy: Damn I'm cool, I have this big ass gun and can smoke my Cuban cigar at the same time
Def from girl: Damn is this dude going to kill me?? He easily handles that gun and gross guys that smoke.
Frequency of this pic through out Tinder: few and far between, but there are other alternatives that can be used, knives, power tools, grenades.
Def from guy: Dude I'm so high and I can buy you drugs, plus you can kinda see I'm sexy with my shirt off
Def from girl: This dude is messed up and doesn't even know he posted the pic. Plus I might get arrested for drugs if I hang out with him. And are those magazine pic's on the wall?
Frequency of this pic through out Tinder: Apparenlty people these days don't care about posting high or wasted pic's online. So this is pretty frequent. Hey atleast we know he likes to have a good time.
These 3 go together, because they are the same dude-
Name of pic: My car is the coolest thing about me
Def from guy: Man I have a cool car, it goes really fast and all the girls want to ride in it
Def from girl: You are such a douche that you put pics of you car up there and you must be ugly since there are no pic's of you.
Frequency of this pic through out Tinder: ALL the time... dudes love their cars more than themselves.
Name of pic: Too old for Tinder
Def from guy: I'm cool, hip and want to try a new way to date
Def from girl: You are way older than 38 and too old to be on this app.
Frequency of this pic through out Tinder: Unfortunately a lot, but hey I guess old people need love too.
Name of pic: Hot girls like me
Def from guy: Yes I'm a cool guy because I hang out with hot girls like this all the time, so you better be hot
Def from girl: We get it you have friends that are girls and basically you wish one of them was into you the way you are into them, but they aren't so that's why you are on here.
Frequency of this pic through out Tinder: Dudes love to put up pics of them with girls. I just don't get it, I don't want to see you with other girls :(
Name of pic: Creepy McCreepyton
Def from guy: I like things up close and personal
Def from girl: He is creepy and will probably stare at my like this while I'm sleeping, through my window, in the bathroom.
Frequency of this pic through out Tinder: Well here are 2 examples, so unfortunately some guys just like it up close and personal, maybe they think we can see into their soul the closer they are???
--not same guys, just multiple examples
Name of pic: Ultimate DoucheBag
Def from guy: I'm just so cool, all the girls are gonna like me on here and this app will be the best FWB finder on the planet
Def from girl: This guy obviously thinks to highly of himself and I'm sure all the girls (if really any) that he has hooked up with are of real high quality (sarcasm there)
Frequency of this pic through out Tinder: Pretty much every other dude has one of these pictures. But that's really life, pretty much every other guy is a douchebag, so it's a real representation ladies of what is out there.
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