It's a Party Memorial Day

So I'm heading out for the weekend. If any of you have been at a wedding or events where I have given a speech or written the invitation you know I like to make rhymes and raps.  So I decided I would start this weekend off with one of my famous songs.  Hope you enjoy and have a great and safe weekend.

So if you want to check out Coastline's new down DOWN SOUTH, it's great.  They have a new album coming out and are playing a gig with Darius Rucker in VA.  Check it out, you can also download from i-tunes!!!    http://www.jimquickmusic.com/

 

 

 

(TO the tune of Party in the USA)

I hopped in my car in the parking lot

With vodka and diet sprite

Headed to where it’s getting hot

Weather better be aight

Headed East on seventy for the first time

Look to my right

And see the Morehead City sign

Summertime is crazy

Meeting boys, just maybe?

My pits are sweating

And I’m feeling kinda nervous

So much pressure

To look perfect

When I’m moving and grooving on the dance

And Coastline Band is on

And Coastline Band is on

And Coastline Band is on

So I put hands up

Jim’s singing my song

Carolina girls give a shout

Shaking my butt like, whooo

Shaking my butt like, whooo

I got my hands up

Jim’s singing my song

Hope I don’t pass out

It’s a party Me-morial day

Yeah

It’s a party Me-morial day

Yeah

Get to Shack on a friends boat
Everybody's partying down
Like "Who's are those girl bonging beers, they must be from out of town”
So alcohol all around me
It’s definitely an “Icing” party
'Cause all I see are Smirnoff’s
There might be a stand off

My tummy’s turnin’

And I’m feeling kinda sea sick

Swells are kinda high

I might just loose it

And then the I-pod drops my favorite tune

And a Chairman song comes on

And a Chairman song comes on

And a Chairman song comes on

So I put hands up

Danny’s singing my song

Carolina girls give a shout

Shaking my butt like, whooo

Shaking my butt like, whooo

I got my hands up

Danny’s singing my song

Hope I don’t pass out

It’s a party Me-morial day

Yeah

It’s a party Me-morial day

Yeah

Going to Walt’s house on Sunday

Eating BBQ, what a fun day
Eyes are getting really tired
The I-pod plays my song and I’m gonna stay!

So I put hands up

Jim’s singing my song

Carolina girls give a shout

Shaking my butt like, whooo

Shaking my butt like, whooo

I got my hands up

Jim’s singing my song

Hope I don’t pass out

It’s a party Me-morial day

Yeah

It’s a party Me-morial day

Yeah

So I put hands up

Danny’s singing my song

Carolina girls give a shout

Shaking my butt like, whooo

Shaking my butt like, whooo

I got my hands up

Danny’s singing my song

Hope I don’t pass out

It’s a party Me-morial day

Yeah

It’s a party Me-morial day

Yeah

Scotty 2 Hottie!!!

Soooo Scotty won!!!!!!  Yes, just so happy and can't wait to buy his album.  Also wanted to include this pic of a van that was parked outside my work when I came out for lunch.  It's great to get excited. 

All that paint just reminded me of all the times spent in my mom's red van (the grocery getter) and then in suburban (the burb, old black version) when we would travel all over to softball tournaments.  Those were the days, so many stories to tell about that.... but I'll share one of the most memorable, not our best moment. So our team, let me shout out really quick to Laura Dowd, Jamie Lane, Lauren Jernigan, Kricket,  Katie Edwards, Casey Jones, Ashley Pearce, coaches--Cheryl Holder "Ms. Cheryl, Mitchell Jernigan "Mitch", Mark Lane "Marky Mark", Gail Royall "G",---bat girl Katie Lane.. these girls and I were on the same team since we were like 10 years old and the parents/coaches were all our parents!  And yes I'm using maiden names b/c that is who you will always be to me.  Well we took this little road trip down to a little town called Sanford for a game one time, go there the field was nasty, dugouts were dirty (more than usual), no referee's... like are we playing a game or not, did you know we were coming???  Let's just say things started getting tense and they were saying ugly things to us and we just weren't having it.  So our pitcher (no need to name the guilty in this story) pitched one right into the back of one of their players, who smirkisly trotted to first base, then advance to second, and proceeded to say thing to the 2nd baseman and the short stop.  Which at this point the short stop was over it and hollered (got that southern twang, past tense of holla) over the 2nd baseman "Hey no name, you got a can?"  2nd baseman replied "A can of what?", the shortstop replied "A can of whoop ass for this girl on second base?"   hahaha man as a 16 yr old it was pretty funny, but obviously our parents/coaches didn't think so.  Then the next batter which overhead these statements was not happy and while sliding into the 2nd, raised her foot and scraped the short stops arm with her cleats.  Then the next girl hitting, kicked dirt in the catcher's face...and so on and so on.  Then the short stop had to come into relief pitch and yep you guessed it little cleats mcgee from 2nd base comes up to back to bat and WHAM, pitch the middle of the back...yowers.  This is the point where the coaches came together decided we should just stop this game and go on home... but they would not let us leave the dugout until all their players were in their cars.  Ok so I'm not proud of this moment of how our team acted...NOPE... but do you think any other teams in the league thought about messing with us... NOPE!.  So our coaches were so pissed they made us all get in the burb and ride home together (me driving) and the drove in a different car and totally left us.  Good thing for my great sense of direction and after a little tour of Sanford we made it home, but not before we ended the trip on a really awesome note.  When coming down Packing Plant road, by the livestock there are all sorts of fields and animals.... and we just happen to interrupt two Goats "making dessert" right there on the side of the road and we just busted into laughter!!!  It was soooo funny and we used to talk about that trip all the time.   There are many more positive stories about how we actually won games, snuck out to meet boys, got dragged off the field by my mamma (yep that happened), tournament games that started at 1am, rides to greensboro with a boom box in the back seat(since the radio was broken), seeing LL Cool J...so many that I will share later.  Here are a few old school pic's to brighten your day!
GOOOOOO Thunder!
We need a single, just a little double, T-R-I-P-L-E, homerun homerun, homerun!!!

Name Plate FAIL

So I got my new name plate yesterday, Yippee!!!  I thought finally I have made it official, I have almost been here two year and I finally get to put my name up, I'm going places in this joint.  Also thought it would help with my little problem with my name (refer to earlier blog, what's in a name) and keep these old geezers on point. NOPE!  Just got the dang thing up yesterday and this morning got my first joke again, old people are soooo funny (sarcasm here) they just don't know it. Old lady with plain name, we'll call her Betty Jones.
BJ says "You're new, what's your name"
Difficult named person (me) "Holden, H-O-L-D-E-N."
Bj -- "Colden????, huh?
DNP (me)- "Holden, Holden, that's H-O-L-D-E-N"
BJ-- laughter  "hahahahahahahahahaha, uh-huh that's unusual" --yes she laughed to my face about my name
DNP-- (proud sounding voice) "It was my grandmother's maiden name"
BJ-- "uh-huh, oh"
What the heck old lady, I really just think THEY DON'T CARE.

Man with plain sounding name we'll call him John Jones.
JJ says "Is your last name Roy-awl (sounds like ouch, Roy-oull)?" or if you have seen pulp fiction, royal with cheese!  Yes please :)
DNP-- "No it's Royall (sounds like ROYALL) like the Royal Family."
Man- "Oh that's weird"
REALLY, that's weird, well I'm sure your boring name never got you in anywhere. 

So what I have realized from this is I should have either 1. gotten a name plate with just my first name b/c my last name is now going to be questioned.  2. Or just start going by Elizabeth, so much EASIER!  There is a nurse and her first name is Renee, but she goes by her middle name Vikki.  I know lots of people that do that, but she only goes by Vikki at work, she is Renee at home to her husband, to her parents, to her school, to her friends, but she's Vikki to us.  So when I got a baby shower invite for Renee, I seriously had no idea who it was and had ask the ladies at work...haha boy did I look stupid.  Just go by whatever your name is.  And you wonder why insurance is so screwed up and why we can't get your name in your chart right because your parents named you some awesome name, but decided to call you by your middle name.  Sorry to Nicole and Whit, but my two cousins both have this problem.... born France Nicole Baldwin, goes by Nicole. I think now that she is married she dropped the Frances and just is Nicole Baldwin Beale.  I know she's named after my grandmother's sister Frances that passed away, really nice story, but she still got her name said wrong for most of her life.  And then her brother William Whitfield Baldwin, II, great name, my friends wanted to marry him just because his name, they wanted to be Ms. William Whitfield Baldwin, II. (you still have a chance ladies)  His daily name is Whit!  Too bad boys don't drop their names too.  They both have great names, but I've heard complaints over the years of how many times they have to correct their teachers, etc. 

So enough about that, guess I'll just stick with Holden for now.  I LOVE HOLDEN!!!!   Even considering naming a child HOLDEN and no it will not be a boy, IT WILL BE A GIRL!  There is a thing called a boyfriend preferably to have first or as my grandmother would say husband, we're stretching a little there..... I'm getting up there in years I would take a rich famous man as a baby daddy these days, I mean everyone else is.

Oh  yeah and just thought I would share a pic of my lunch break today.  I'm sure there will be an email circulating shortly about how we can only sit in the lunchroom or at the picnic tables during our lunch, too bad I forgot my cooler and bathing suit.  I mean what else am supposed to do on a nice sunny day for an hour.
Happy Hump Day Ya'll!

Underage and Engaged

Ok so I LOVE IDOL, and would def be a Scotty's Hotties!  But something about me cheering, crying, loving and thinking about a 17 year old boy just doesn't seem right.  I guess it's ok because all of America is doing it and they can't arrest 97 million people.   Also everyone seems to be ok with all these mom's and grandma's loving Scotty.  I mean I've always said I'm into younger men, but just to think a 17 year old is 12  years younger than me, makes me realize that I am old.  Yes and pretty much old enough to be Scotty's mom, it could happen.  One time my younger sister Jane (younger by 6 years) and I were shopping in Belks.  I was 16 at the time, she was 10 and maybe I looked older for my age pushing a good 20 years old (that's really pushing it) and maybe she looked young like 6-7ish... so that is about 14 years difference.  This old lady shopper made the comment to me "Don't you just love shopping with your daughter?"  My daughter???????  As a 16 year old I was appalled at this statement and was like how in the heck does she think that happened, I'm 16 she's 10 not possible.  Ok that was really a side story, so it is possible for me to be Scotty's mom, and therefore will call myself a cougar for Scotty.  But if we move to Mississippi it's legal for us to marry without parental consent, if his parents say yes then we can get married here in GARNER, North Carolina.  And both being over the age of 16 we can go ahead and consummate that marriage right here and now!  But in the state Nevada, we could both consummate our marriage at 16, but if we were both males or both females (same sex consummation) then we would have to be 18.  Isn't that crazy you have to two years older to have sex with another woman???  Wonder why that is, I'm sure by the time they are 18 and living in Nevada ...aka Las Vegas they have already gotten drunk and made out with one of their girlfriends and maybe went a little further.  I'm not sure why this blog went in this direction, so back to SCOTTY!!!
VOTE PEOPLE, VOTE VOTE!!!!!
That way we can two American Idol winners from North Carolina, Scotty and Fantasia, maybe they can make babies and we can have an AI baby for NC too!!!
Idol Contestants from NC.... no I did not know this, but did google it
Clay Aiken- Raleigh, NC
Fantasia Barino- High Point, NC
Bucky Covington- Rockingham, NC
Kellie Pickler- Albermarle, NC
Chris Daughtry-Mcleansville, NC
Anoop Desai- Chapel Hill, NC
SCOTTY MCCREERY- Garner, NC

Let's go NC!!!!! I'm thinking we are doing pretty good.

Urban Dictionary

I'm pretty sure if you are a rich powerful man you have no shortage of groupies, dock rats, cleat chasers, etc.  But what I don't understand is why are all these ladies BUSTED.  I mean if I was rich and wanted to hook up with whoever it would not be with UGLY people.  I mean I know Arnold Schwarzenegger is not all that hot, but did you see that Chola that he cheated with YUCK... yes I just used the word Chola, something new I learned from this series of life events that have unfolded in Arnold's world.  I know some people are going to be mad saying it's a derogatory term, well guess what GET OVER IT.  It's called freedom of speech for a reason and I plan to use it on this blog and guess what if you don't like it you, can simply NOT READ it.   Enough of that said, here is the definition of Chola, courtesy of Urban Dictionary--- A chola is a firme hyna (latina) that wears a lot of makeup: thick eyeliner, liquid eyeliner on top going out of your eye dark brown or red lipstick and eyebrows drawn on or really thin. We mostly have permed hair with hella gel or straight and arched on top. We kick it with people in our own barrio and not really claiming a color mainly your raza. (Brown Pride) or (Barrio)and wear baggy or tight cloths with nike cortez shoes.

Ok got it, so that being said is there a group of chola's living in Arnold's house????  Is he a Latin gang banger?  I've heard reports that there are many more mistresses out there and possibly more children.

Another example of Freedom of Speech---- when Blake Shelton make a simple Shania Twain song to say "Any man that tries Touching my behind He's gonna be a beaten, bleedin', heaving kind of guy" and the LGBT (UD---Abbreviation term of lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender) community went bonkers.  Geez I mean I have nothing against gay people, love them, work with them have several friends and for sure do not want any violence against them.  But people just take things so seriously sometimes, it was just a joke.  I mean this world needs to lighten up and go with the flow instead of getting all up in arms about every little thing that is said.  We are shaping celebrities into robots because they afraid to upset anyone out there, fear of the backlash from different groups. Just live your life and treat all people equally.  We can all work on this, me included.

There are a lot of fun inappropriate things you can learn on Urban Dictionary and if you have time some days when you are just sitting at home with your not job, you should cruise through and check things out.

Oh so I did go to the salon last night and get my hair did Diann HOLA... everyone should go see Diann at Mitchell's she is great and will get your hair did?  UD---  Slang for 'to get your hair braided'. Popular in female hip hop culture. Often confused for present tense of 'done', which is incorrect.

So fella's out there if you are looking for a few beautiful women to add to your payroll, here we are and I promise not to write about it in my BLOG!

Here are some pic's of my new DO!



Pic of Arnold's Chola

Housewives or Hoebags

So if you are any sort of friend of mine you know I'm obsessed with Reality TV and not I'm not ashamed of it.  There are some really good lessons to be learned on tv, most of them are how not to act.  I would love to have kids and instead of really parenting, just sit them in front on the tv with a little, real world, bad girls club, celebrity rehab, teen mom and basically say if you act like this you are an idiot.  Now I did not include Jersey Shore in this list because it's pretty much one on my fav's, although I don't condone all the wasted face time we get to see on that show and how these innocent sluts seem to get duped by the charming Pauly D, Situation and Vinnie.  For me Vinnie would be about the only one I could spend more than about 2 minutes with only because I want to go to Vinnie's mom house and eat all that food she is always cooking on tv.  I'm sure there will be plenty more post about Jersey Shore, if the upcoming season ever gets them to Italy and starts filming.  It just makes me think, gosh I could've made lots of $$$ if I had just started filming all my friends in high school.  That's right people we were a rowdy group back then and all these games on jersey shore are old news in our book.  Some how we have all managed survive, which is a pure shock to me.  And I personally have never been arrested although have had a few really really close calls, guess all those sprints after basketball practice saved me a few times, thanks coach Sanders!
Ok so now to this other little franchise called Housewives of...... SLUT-TOWN USA.  I mean really these ladies are about as far away from ladies as you can get.  And do you have to have botox and fake boobs to even try out for these shows.  So on RH of NJ (that's New Jersey)...shocker all the real entertainment comes from Jersey... there is a fist fight, yes a fist fight at a baby's christening.  WHAT, I guess I'm not shocked as seeing that the father and father's friends are taking shots and drinking scotch and vodka on the rocks.  Pretty much always ended that way at every party I ever went to in Johnston County, I mean if there wasn't a fight then it wasn't a good party.  SOOOO I'm pretty much saying that Jersey and JoCo should meet up fight it out, well that's my new reality show Guido's vs. Rednecks, I would totally watch that.  And guess what it's not just going to be the men fighting, that's right all those tough girls in high school that were always trying to beat us up for hooking up with your boyfriends, just bring it on down to my new show I'll match you up with a Poof-headed guidette and you guys can battle it out, see how tough you are now.  Now we are talking money.  Just kidding about all that, but I'm sure it will happen soon.  So the moral of the story is this no matter where you are Jersey or JoCo, once a piece of trash always a piece of trash, even if Bravo or MTV pays you $60,000 an episode. 
But if either one of those Manzo Brother's wanna hit me up I'm all about making them a "REAL" southern meal, not like that stupid one your Jersey mother put together on TV, I mean there wasn't anything that was FRIED....not a southern meal without something FRIED.

Four B's of a good weekend.

If these four B's come together on your weekend, you are guaranteed a good time.  BOATS, BOOZE, BOYS and BATHING SUITS.  Although when combined simultaneously you could end of up with a 5th B, BLACKOUT!  Try to avoid that last one.  So this weekend the 4 B's came together for me at a little thing called Water fest, in White Lake, NC.  It was awesome, have to give a shout out to Ashley Herring for letting me invite self to my first water fest!  My Water fest virginity has been taken as Butta put it.  Yes there was a guy there named Butta.  I first thought his name was Butter, I asked why he was called Butter, I got corrected to say it's Butta.  I guess he used to be fat and they say he melted away like Butta and it stuck.  Always have to be on the lookout for those nicknames that stick.  Butta also met my sister and told me this morning that she was the fun sister.  I have finally been dethroned as the Fun Royall sister, Julz carry the crown wisely.  And as for you Jason, Joseph, Butta you can hit me up anytime and I'll show you how much fun I can be!!!  I also met a guy named Flat, donated my Costas to fishies in the bottom White Lake.  SOOO if anyone out there has the hook-up on sunglasses, hit me up, I need a new pair.  Ran into an old friend from college, it was great hanging out with Austin, still the same old fun guy.  But Austin was also hanging out with Daryl and yes we know Daryl from a little new years eve trip in college down to Dirty Myrtle and maybe some midnight making out, hey it was New Years:)  But turns out Daryl now plays for the other team, awesome so there was no luck there.   So Friday I worked on the beer, boats and boys, did a little booze cruise sat afternoon, had some yummy spaghetti courtesy of Robin Herring, then some late night cards on the pier, then to bed the room I was staying which is basically a closet while the Herring are still redoing their new house.  Saturday is where the fun began, just your usually boating, drinking sun tanning, this where I realized no matter where you are if you have BOATS, BOOZE, BATHING SUITS and BOYS then it's always a good time.  Add a few more B's with Melvin's BURGERS and BEACH MUSIC BAND, you are well on your way to BLACKOUT and a great Weekend.  So if you are ever in E-town, White Lake Area the weekend before Memorial day, you should always check out Water Festival, it was a great weekend with great friends and I want an invite for next year.  So off to my couch to catch up on DVR and rest up to do it all again next weekend.... AB, Memorial Day here we come!

Here are the only 4 pic's I took all weekend.

 

Dating a Dentist

Before---I look kinda scared

Who wants to date my dentist, that just did my root canal?  Seriously guys I think he would be a great catch for someone which brings me to the business I should have started a long time ago.... MATCH MAKING.  I've made some good matches in the past and just really think I'm good at matching people and reading people in general.  The Dentist likes the beach, has a beach house at Kure and a boat slip, but no boat, but he's working on it.  Said he loves Dockside, but if he had a boat he would not be able to drive it back, so he likes to DRINK!!  So I'm thinking I might start featuring some single peeps on my blog and see if I can hook them up, I have a lot of friends that might not know each other... and  hey guess what's it's a free way to meet people.  Right now I think I have 3 marriages, 2 babies, 1 pending engagement, and a few other relationships, so that's a good start.  What do they say if you can't date, MATCH!  That's kinda how I feel, it's great for me to see all friends happily married, they are all playing right into my plan.  So here's what I realized as I go to all my friends weddings, I'm poor.  But they are getting richer by the second.  So my wedding present budget goes from like $25- $50 depending on how good a Friend you are, just kidding!!!  But now by the time I get married they will all have duel incomes and I better get great presents from them.  Gosh to only think how much money I have spent on bridesmaid dresses, shoes, presents, engagement parties, bachelorette parties etc.  Don't get me wrong I have loved every minute of it!  But I could have easily paid for my root canal and crown with about 1/10th of that money spent.  I would do it all again anyday and spend it all again to be able to experience some of those times again.  Well off to North Hills to listen to some Beach Music.  

During---                                                                                After--- Gotta Have GiGi's!!!

Back to my Roots

I love being from a small town, love to tell people I'm from Smithfield or I'm from Johnston County or now known as JoCo.  Yes I'm a JoCo Girl, but I don't have the sticker to prove it.  And everywhere you go someone always knows someone from Smithfield and guess what I usually know them too, which I love.  Of course their cousin's brother went to school with my sisters middle school boyfriend or their grandmother's sister was my dad's first grade teacher.  I just love how stories unfold.  Basically like country songs, I love country music, I love to the listen to the words, feel what they mean and just realize that yes this has happened to me or someone I know. I do know a guy that drives a tractor, with a big ole Jug of sweet tea, I have been on copperhead road, and God Bless that broken road!  I hope you dance is one of those songs by LeeAnn Womack, I just love the words and the feeling that comes from that song, just keep pushing, keep pursuing and you can do anything and Lauren did great on Idol last night.  So everyone has a "song" either their favorite song, a song that sounds like their life, a song with their name in it.  I was on the way to work today thinking about my ROOT CANAL later this afternoon, got me thinking about my roots in general, then I got distracted by hearing my favorite song THE GAMBLER.  This one time (not at band camp) I got a voicemail from a guy I was dating and he sang to me and sang the Gambler but changed the words to say "you've got to know when to HOLDEN, know when to fold'em"  Oh I loved it and have loved the song ever since.  As a child growing up I never had pens, stickers, key chains that had my name on it, there was never a Holden in that rack of name stuff at Cracker Barrel.  You know you looked for your name every time, especially when they came out with those little license plates for your bikes, AWESOME, no Holden :(  So when finally I had a song with my name in it (kinda) I was sooooo happy.  Thanks guy I can't remember you name at this time, but you played Goalie for the Hammerheads...haha, just kidding JACOB!  Happy Thurs today and hopefully I'll be jamming to my awesome songs play list while getting my root canal, really going BACK TO MY ROOTS!!!

 

    

Urgent Care, Who Cares?

As many of you know I work nights and weekend in an urgent care.  Which you would think would be exciting, filled with drama and hook-ups just like they show you on TV... WRONG.  Now it would be HIPPA violation for me to tell you specifically about anyone that comes in here, so we'll change the names to protect the STUPID.  Let's just say people where are your MOTHER'S and GRANDMOTHER'S??? I mean I know everyone doesn't have them, but still.  A simple cough, cold etc, isn't that what you call your mom for, she tells you to drink a shot of whiskey (not my mom), drink some honey, gargle with warm salt water.  All the good secrets that moms can tell you that will save you that $75 copay, hello yes that's $75.  I can only think of how much Goombay Smash I could make for $75, how many packs of Swedish fish I could buy, how many new complete outfits from Old Navy I could purchase, how I could pay about 30% toward that Lilly Dress that I  REALLY want.  So save your $75 take your grandma out to lunch like 10 times with the senior citizens discount you can get, save my time, so I can make that over-time paycheck without working too hard.  Oh and UTI's, holy Christmas how many of these I have seen, HELLO, it's called going to the JOHN after Making Dessert (that's what I'll call it on here, since my parents are probably reading).  So you and your BF or random guy, go to dinner or probably not if he's random, and then you have too many after dinner drinks and end up "making dessert", well go visit JOHN, everyone can stumble those few steps.  Probably should visit Rite-Aid as well for a little Plan B, because this is also something I don't want to see in the UC.  I don't want to hear about your mishap, just "Be prepared" for "making dessert", go to the "grocery store" and get your supplies, carry them in your purse ladies, really it's 2011, little motto you learned about 20 years ago in scouts "Be Prepared", yeah well that still applies today!  So don't be stupid, don't cry to me about how you didn't know...do you own a TV, because 16 and preggers, 19 kids and counting, baby story, Teen Mom--- shows are on all the time on MTV and TLC  Now if you don't have a TV, don't watch MTV or TLC, don't have friends, can't read a magazine, don't have Internet and don't speak to your parents then I might shed a little tear for you and your problems.  I will help you check in at UC, then pray for you and just remind myself how much better my life is than yours.

I dedicate this blog to my fav 16 and Preggers and Now TEEN MOM star, NC born and bread Jenelle.  And probably my soon to be fav Asheville, NC 16 and preggers star, Jamie.

What's in a Name?

My name is Holden, that is H-O-L-D-E-N!  There are lots of things about this name that I love.  SO we'll start with the positives.  I love that my name is unique, not many people are named Holden and certainly not many people my age are named Holden.  I'm named after both my Grandmothers, Evelyn Holden and Elizabeth Ann, which combined you get me Holden Elizabeth.  I love the tradition of the name and being able to say I'm named after my Grandmothers who are two of the most wonderful people I know and if I could end up half as nice, caring, beautiful and loving as either of them I would be doing great in life.  So I have always grown up loving my name and what is represents even after that stint in middle school.  It began with things like Whatcha holding holden? Holden What?  Holden Deez, Holden Ballz, Holden Butts, Holden Cotten...etc add all the adjectives in world.  I still loved my name and after middle and high school the names quickly faded and just the random comments whatcha holden still seemed to exist, but came back with more witty remarks.  Like when meeting someone for the first time Hi I'm Holden, Whatcha Holden, (while shaking hands) well your hand right now......hahahahaha  (erupting into laughter, real for them, fake for me as I have heard this 1001 times).  Then in college the response went something like this... whacha holden? A beer right now... or nothing, how about buying me a drink?  These became some of my favorite responses.  The only really negative response (depends on how you look at it), was when I called Blue cross blue shield and stated my name to lady, who by the way is a customer service representative, paid to be nice and help people.  First Name Holden, last Name Royall-- paid customer service rep response, no offense (oh this can't be good) but your name sounds like a PORN STAR.  REALLY???  And your name please, Jessica, thank you Jessica I'll now be hanging up with you and calling back to report you to your supervisor.  Isn't your porn name supposed to be your middle name and the street you grew up on.  Thanks for that info, now I'm trying to think of what my name might really sound like coming out of some 70's porn stars mouth, with his handlebar mustache draping over his top lip.  Hi I'm Steve Slingbocker, Hi Steve I'm Holden Berry Downs Royall... sounds kinda great, thanks Jessica from BCBS for jump starting my new career.
Now as I find myself at my current job and I guess working with a lot elderly people and the fact that the lady in my position was here for 9 years before me, THEY JUST DON"T GET IT!!!!!!!!!   So I have sign taped the front of my desk that says HOLDEN, one taped on the side wall that says HOLDEN.  Every single day this is what I go through.   Where's PAT? (lady who worked here 9 years), she retired in December, what's your name, Holden, is that your first name?  -insert what I would like to say EVERYDAY... Yes you old person it is my first same, when I ask what your name is do you respond, Johnson, Smith, Jones... I don't think so, most people when asked what their name is usually respond with their first name.   Then some days people actually see my sign and they say HOLDEN, is that your son's name?  -Insert what I would like to say... (sarcasm here) Yes actually most normal people do post up signs with their children's names around their desk. Because first and foremost I would like you to recognize that I have children and that their names are special and secondly that I'm here to schedule your appointment and it's not important what my name is.  And yes I am a girl, no I'm not a Mr and I'm so glad your little grandson, nephew, neighbors son etc are all named Holden, and they are all boys, that's really great.  REALLY REALLY.  I have work several jobs in the past and by several I mean a lot.  One instance at the Carolina Mudcats when it was a rain delay and the phone were ringing off the hook about whether the game was cancelled or not.... goes like this Thank you for calling the Carolina Mudcats, this is Holden how may I help you.. wait, what don't put me on hold, no sir my name is Holden what can I help you with.  Other than that one time, my name has never been a problem at any of my jobs UNTIL NOW.  The only thing I can figure is old people either one can't hear and don't understand what I'm saying or they just don't care about being rude and basically making fun of my name to my face.   So I asked my boss for a name plate, it's on order. We'll see if it help to be continued.....

But here's to you Ethel, Vira, Betty, Jean, Ira, Esther, Geraldine and Bulah.... I'm H to the izO, L to  the DEN, it's my anthem, get your damn hands up!!!  Lata Playas!

NOT OK

Somethings in life just are NOT OK.   There is this little thing called Dress code that we learned back in grade school, although most of us didn't meet up with Mr. Dress code until middle school when our finger tips didn't quite meet the end of our skirts/shorts and we were sent home or made to change into our gym clothes.  Well let me tell you that dress codes extend past middle and high school, in fact there is a dress code of LIFE and I would like to share a few things that are NOT OK in the dress code of life handbook.  We'll just start with stretch pants.  Ok if you are going to work out, walk the dog, play with your kid in the yard or just stay in your house stretch pants are OK.  If you are going to work or just out in public NOT OK.  I know you have packed on a few extra lb's since high school (what like 20 years ago) but I'm sorry 100 lbs is not a few extra lbs and you didn't put that on overnight, so wear your stretch pants once to the store and get some new pants.  I don't care if you weigh 400 lbs you still have go to the same job I go to and therefore should have to abide by the same rules that I do.  It's not my fault that things didn't go your way and you ate food to fill some void in your life and woke up one day 200 lbs heavier.  Sorry Lady Gaga, but they weren't born this way.... I know it's harsh, but so is life, so put those stretch pants to good use in front of your TV at home and do some FIT TV.. that is when stretch pants are ok.

If you are 50 years old then it's NOT OK to shop at the bodyshop, Forever 21 (clearly you're not), and Rave just to name a few.  Don't get me wrong, I love a stylish mom, I've got one.  My mom dresses really hip and really cute, but appropriate.  So it's kinda like dating men for example if you are 50 years old, then your clothes style and men style should range between the ages of 35-65.  Wearing clothes that a 21 year old wears to the club NOT OK.  When shopping just think, would my uptight 32 year old co-worker wear this, if the answer is yes, THEN BUY IT.   There is this rule called the 16- 61.... which means when dudes are checking you out from behind you look 16, but when you turn around you are really 61, NOT OK.  You should never be mistaken for a 16 year old by your skanky clothing.

So just wear appropriate clothes for your age and just be happy about it and rock out who you are and how old you are.  No one really cares as long as you are being yourself and being happy.  Late for work, to see my stretch pants friends.

And That's OK

I'm 29 years old, single, still live with roommates, an ok job, college graduate, not dating anyone and guess what THAT'S OK.  No matter how many engagement parties I go to where my parents friends continuously ask me How's school going, where are you now and are you dating anyone???  Well I graduated college 7 years ago, I'm single, so I'm where ever I want to be and no I'm not dating anyone and THAT'S OK.  So I felt like writing about things that go on in this world that do not revolve around weddings, babies and pets.  Don't get me wrong I love a good wedding, love seeing my friends happy with their babies and well whatever about pets, I guess they make some people happy, but for me that's not what's going on in my life andTHAT'S OK.  All these romantic comedies and well just movies in general where the girl always finds the charming, cute, off the wall, sweet, boy next door, co-worker that you never noticed, long time friend that finally turned into something more, etc that lead you to believe that is how it works if you just believe in  love.  Well sometimes it does and I have lots of happy friends that have their perfect romantic comedies, but it doesn't always work out like that and THAT'S OK.  It's ok to be the girl with the great job, the girl who makes more money than all her friends including the guys, the girl with the awesome closet who everyone wants to borrow from, the girl that likes other girls, the super fun friend with lots of friends and family, the girl with big dreams that moves to the big city in pursuit, the girl still at 29 stuggling to find herself and where she belongs.  All these people exist out there as well.  The only one that can make you happy is YOU.  Make yourself happy, find what makes you smile and all the rest will fall into place.  I hope you enjoy reading about my take on life and how you just have to make lemonade out of lemons EVERYDAY and splash of VODKA every now and again.  And if I'm mixing up your life or your drinks maybe a few hangovers and guess what THAT'S OK.