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Friday, August 15


Again it's been a while, but I find myself bored at work wondering what to write about and then it dawns on my it's usually something I'm annoyed by.  So this week it has been the ALS ice bucket challenge. FUNDRAISERS are about AWARENESS and EDUCATION-- and this ICE BUCKET challenge has hopefully done the first one, you can't get on Facebook without seeing this, but are people being educated about the disease and why this challenge is being done??

 Don't get my wrong I love raising money for charity and am usually doing my fair share, love a good fundraiser and love to get dressed up for an event, love to do silly things carnivals or dress up in costumes, love to mingle with the people you are trying to help and having a good old time while helping others, but this is getting out of hand.  I love seeing people over and over again getting soaked with freezing cold water, but how many of you are actually donating or contributing to the cause or aware of what/who you are even helping. Are you helping?  I would love to see more people post about giving and NOT POST (for all your friends to see how you can accept a challenge and dump ice) just GIVE, give money, give support, give time to any organization.  I would challenge my friends to resist the urge spend on money on a bag of ice, or spend time on organizing someone to film the video or time to get prepared to record this video to show how much you care and support ALS.  Do you even know what ALS is?  Have you ever met anyone with ALS or someone that has a family member with ALS???  You are a prisoner in your own body, imagine, not being able to pick up your iPhone and scroll through Facebook and look at your friends photos, pic's of your grandkids, imagine not being able to grab that six pack and head out to the dock/boat and cruise around with your friends, imagine not being able to dress yourself, feed yourself or use the BATHROOM!!!!  AHHH can you imagine having to have help every time you went to the bathroom, I'm just saying I drink a lot of water and have to go A LOT, so there better be someone out there that really loves me and could help me do this, all the time.  And your mind is completely there, your cognitive abilities are untouched, you are still that famous baseball player, that mother of 4, that doctor, that actor, that senator, that main caregiver for your family, that main provider and so on who now can do nothing but watch.  I mean I have a hard enough time being quiet for 2 hours in a movie theater or for argument's sake quiet for any amount of time, I can't imagine just have to be there and sit silently as live evolves and changes around you??????

I went with my roommate the other night to dinner at a place that was donating 10% of proceeds to ALS and there were lots of people there helping raise awareness and money and some were doing the ice bucket challenge, some were family members, some were people who currently had ALS.  It was fun to watch these people in their business clothes after work just get soaked for a good cause and right there on the spot challenge someone else and some guy with a bow tie would just walk up and dump the ice on himself and then challenge the bartender and so on.  It was a really neat experience, but the best part was this little old man that came up to us and asked if we knew about ALS and were we there for the fundraiser.  He proceeded to tell us he had recently lost his wife to ALS and for the last 2 years of her life he did everything for her, he dressed her, he fed her, he changed her (yes as in her diaper) and they have 3 beautiful kids together and they were all on their way up there to do the ice bucket challenge.  He seemed so excited to be there and share information about the disease and his family, even pulled up a family pic on his phone from a few months before his wife passed away. He explained how he was holding her head up in the pic behind the wheeler chair so that she would look normal and they would have a nice family picture together before she passed because they had no idea how long that might be.  He then told us the form of ALS that his wife had was the genetic kind, which means any of his 3 kids could have it.   And yes they can get tested to find out if they carry the gene, but there is no cure, there is no slowing it down, right now there is only research and HOPE!!!!

That's where things like these events and the Ice bucket challenge come into play, again AWARENESS and EDUCATION.  So really think about why you are doing this challenge, who you are helping and make sure not only to post the video and challenge people, but also donate, maybe challenge more of your friends to donate than to actually do the ice bucket challenge or do both!!!  If your heart beats strongly for another charity, give to them, it doesn't matter who ultimately is getting the help, just as long as someone is beside you looking cool to your friends on Facebook.  Get the information out there.  Just think lots of people were dying of AIDS and HIV in the early 80's and now it's basically cured, you can live long happy lives with a disease that people had little hope for just about 30 years ago.  So get the message out there do your part and spread the word and help everyone fight these disease and FIND A CURE!

Go donate to your local Raleigh Jim "Catfish" Hunter Chapter of ALS--

If you like Golf more than ICE buckets--sign up for the Golf Tournament

November 10, 2014
North Ridge Country Club
Raleigh, NC

Sunday, June 15

Hey Bar-TINDER!!!

So if you are in single and between the ages of 18 -35 you probably know what Tinder is.  For those of you who don't, let me give you a little insight to how the world of dating has changed in 21st century.
Way back when, you met someone at church, school etc, you knew them and their "people" and they knew you and "your people" and he called you, met you at the pep rally, youth group and asked you to the movies.  The movies was always the first step....great first date huh, let's sit quietly and not talk to each other and laugh awkwardly at the moments we think are funny, but not too loud because that might be embarrassing.  Then maybe you grab an ice cream, hamburger. Yes way back when we ate movie popcorn & candy and then had ice cream and a cheeseburger, there were no diets, anorexia or skinny people as far as I remember, also less IBS and gastro issues..hmmmm.  And that was pretty much it, you then liked each other became BF/GF by sharing a broken heart necklace, rode together to and from school and possibly a promise ring.  Seems simple and it worked right??  Why can't we just go back to that.  Straight old style courtship, boy sees girl, boy asks girl out, boy and girl go to movies, boy and girl go steady, boy girl graduate high school and get married and live happily ever after.  Wellllllll  because are website like TINDER, that offer variety, variety, variety.

Tinder my friends in the new version of HOT or NOT website, where you used to scroll through prospectives of the opposite sex and rate them HOT or NOT on a scale of 1-10, then it would tell you what others had ranked them.  If you were so bold, you could put your own picture up there and see if the world thought you were HOT or NOT.  I always found it more entertaining to put up my friends or enemies pictures (unbeknownst to them) and see if the world thought they were HOT or NOT????  If they were HOT, I would share the link, if not just kept that little secret to myself.  SOOOOO now Tinder has the same concept, you post 5-6 pictures of yourself, it list your age, name and location (by zip code) and you can add 1 quote.  So as a female I can set my preference to guys (and yes I say guys, not men) ages 25-35 (yes guys, some girls like younger men too, you didn't invent that trick) and distance of 25 miles.  The app will then list/show pic's of guys that meet these search requirements.  That's it, that's all you have to go on, sex, age and distance.  What not how many bedrooms, how many baths, square footage, exterior, lot size... I mean you can discriminate so much more on looking for houses than you can for husbands.  So here we go.... A pic pops up, I can then scroll through his 6 pics, see his age, name (if that's really his name), distance and what facebook friends we have in common.  WAIT WAIT WAIT, you are telling me I can now see if we "kinda" know each other or have mutual friends.  Now to the average person this might not matter, but to the average woman, who (news alert) are MAJOR STALKERS, this makes this app much more amazing.  So now I can see who we have in common, get on facebook, look through their friends and find this guys facebook profile, SCORE and all in a matter of 2 minutes (and if he's not smart, which most guys on FB aren't, his profile isn't even private), so JACK POT!   I can see like 50 pics, his quotes, his interest, his favorite movies, his ex-GF's, his mom, his brother (oh he's cute too), his dad (yes, he will still be hot in 30 years because his dad is), what he's been doing the last 5 weekends.  So now I can really judge if I like this guy or not.  And well I probably won't like him after I looked at all his info.  I mean I didn't see a boat in any of his pic's, he has not been to the beach in the last month, his ex-GF is REALLY Skinny, but not that pretty, his friends are cute and look fun, but he's just not my type.
---So dudes out there YES THIS IS WHAT GIRLS DO!!!  So if you don't want her to see something don't post it, or make yourself private.  Because I guarantee prior to meeting this girl, she knows more about you than probably some of your best friends.  And be sure if you met her at the bar before the sun comes up, she already has all the info she needs to decide if she will friend you on Facebook or wait for you to friend her.  That is just a heads up for the DUDES reading this.

Ok so back to TINDER, so I'm scrolling through looking at guys and after about 20 douchebag looking dudes I find one that yes might peak my interest, so I go for it and I click the "heart".  Yes your options are "Heart" or "X".  Now here is the tricky part and sometimes disappointing part, if he has already viewed you and clicked "heart" as well then it will notify both of you and then you can now chat.  If it doesn't immediately say you matched, then he either hasn't seen you or clicked "X".  And after a moment of that guy wasn't that hot anyway bashing in my head, on to the next dude and here we go again.  So after about 20 mins I've successfully liked about 10 dudes out of 100 (wow, I'm a little more picky than I thought or maybe the options out there are slim) and I've matched with 9 out of 10.  So what to do now, do I message them, do I wait for them to message me.  I personally play the waiting game, I mean either he's into me enough to send a message or he isn't.  BTW guys, grow some balls and if you are into a girl message her, call her, send her a text, ask her out.  We all get rejected, get over get and tuck your tears and broken hearts back up in your balls and ask a dang woman out.  Most women, simply WANT TO BE WANTED!  It's really that simple, you are nice, you are cute, you ask her out and make her feel wanted and that you want to hang out with her, YOU ARE IN.  You are very welcome for that secret.

So now I just wait for people to message me and say dumb stuff like......  Hi, hey girl hey, hello, how was your day?  Really those are the best things you could come up with to say to your future wife that you met online through a dating app by only thinking she was hot and hitting "heart"?  Damn where is that show NEXT when you need it.  Goodness that was a great show, if you didn't like the date you just said "NEXT" and the date had to leave and the next one came around the corner.  If only life was really like that, well maybe not because I'm pretty sure I would say something bitchy and get nexted.

So here are the best parts about this online app...  the pic's guys put up.  You just make it too easy for me to make fun of you.  So here's the part of the blog you were waiting for the TINDER pic's and commentary. 

Name of pic: Selfie no shirt
Def from guy: I'm hot and want to show you my muscles in the mirror, but don't want to ask one of my dudes to take a shirtless picture of me.
Def from girl: Wow you don't have just one friend that could've taken your picture?  And you should prob put your shirt back on
Frequency of this pic through out Tinder:  WAY TOO DAMN MUCH

Name of pic: Too cool for school
Def from guy: Damn I'm cool, I have this big ass gun and can smoke my Cuban cigar at the same time
Def from girl: Damn is this dude going to kill me??  He easily handles that gun and gross guys that smoke.
Frequency of this pic through out Tinder:  few and far between, but there are other alternatives that can be used, knives, power tools, grenades. 

Name of pic: Drugs are cool
Def from guy: Dude I'm so high and I can buy you drugs, plus you can kinda see I'm sexy with my shirt off
Def from girl: This dude is messed up and doesn't even know he posted the pic.  Plus I might get arrested for drugs if I hang out with him.  And are those magazine pic's on the wall?
Frequency of this pic through out Tinder: Apparenlty people these days don't care about posting high or wasted pic's online.  So this is pretty frequent.  Hey atleast we know he likes to have a good time.

These 3 go together, because they are the same dude-
Name of pic: My car is the coolest thing about me
Def from guy: Man I have a cool car, it goes really fast and all the girls want to ride in it
Def from girl: You are such a douche that you put pics of you car up there and you must be ugly since there are no pic's of you.
Frequency of this pic through out Tinder: ALL the time... dudes love their cars more than themselves.

Name of pic: Too old for Tinder
Def from guy: I'm cool, hip and want to try a new way to date
Def from girl: You are way older than 38 and too old to be on this app.
Frequency of this pic through out Tinder: Unfortunately a lot, but hey I guess old people need love too.

Name of pic: Hot girls like me
Def from guy: Yes I'm a cool guy because I hang out with hot girls like this all the time, so you better be hot
Def from girl: We get it you have friends that are girls and basically you wish one of them was into you the way you are into them, but they aren't so that's why you are on here.
Frequency of this pic through out Tinder: Dudes love to put up pics of them with girls.  I just don't get it, I don't want to see you with other girls :(

--not same guys, just multiple examples
Name of pic: Creepy McCreepyton
Def from guy: I like things up close and personal
Def from girl: He is creepy and will probably stare at my like this while I'm sleeping, through my window, in the bathroom.
Frequency of this pic through out Tinder: Well here are 2 examples, so unfortunately some guys just like it up close and personal, maybe they think we can see into their soul the closer they are???

--not same guys, just multiple examples
Name of pic: Ultimate DoucheBag
Def from guy: I'm just so cool, all the girls are gonna like me on here and this app will be the best FWB finder on the planet
Def from girl: This guy obviously thinks to highly of himself and I'm sure all the girls (if really any) that he has hooked up with are of real high quality (sarcasm there)
Frequency of this pic through out Tinder: Pretty much every other dude has one of these pictures.  But that's really life, pretty much every other guy is a douchebag, so it's a real representation ladies of what is out there.

Saturday, May 31

I'm Baaaaaacccckkkkk

Who is she and where has she been?  That's a secret I'm about to tell. 

Um LIVING LIFE DUH!  OH my goodness where to begin so much to say.  Well it's been almost a year and half since I've written and I'm just not sure why.  Maybe life has been too fun, work too busy, didn't feel like opening my computer, reality tv is getting better, shows like Jersey shore have been replaced with shows like Party Down South and Little Women: LA (it's about "little people" and I say "little people" because I will get kicked in the shin if I say the "D" word, they don't like that"), ABC drama's like Revenge and Scandal have been holding my attention (YES),  I've had a revolving door of roommates,  mo-peds, BF's, FB's or whatever they are called these days, the always weddings, engagement parties, bridal showers, bachelorette parties and now add the baby showers, gender reveal parties (this is baby thing, not a Trans thing), sip and see's (again a baby thing, not a stripper thing) and what I've now discovered a FREEDOM PARTY--aka divorce party aka back single ready to mingle aka mama's ready to get drunk and naked aka she needs to get laid aka screw that asshole I was married to and never had sex with, now I'm skinny & hot & rich (with his money) and I'm giving it up to EVERYONE!!   Yep that's right all you happily married people with children out there that's what all us single people are doing these days, enjoying things like THIS!  So that brings me to my first question?

When did we become a society that has an over the top party for everything?  I feel like growing up I guess I had a first birthday (I have the pictures to prove it, although I don't personally remember).  It consisted of my parents, grandparents, aunts/uncles I only had one cousin at that time and no siblings (here's to being the oldest and getting to do everything first, whoop whoop) maybe some neighbors/parents besties.  I'm going with we had a cake (made by a grandma or old black lady), some RED hot dogs, and some BEER.  Pretty sure that was it, considering it was January probably inside @ Holt Lake in the cabin, or @ Nannies house (which was much bigger), a picture with me wearing a party hat and that's is.  WTF is up with having a F-ing bounce house, a clown, a buffet, a champagne toast, valet, Pony ride, Bands, party favors (that cost way more than my $10 present from Wal-Mart, maybe Dollar Tree), specialty beer, not homemade dips, not homemade cake, like legit $200 cake shaped like a princess crown that is huge and would fit a 500 pound princess not a 1 year old.  I mean how much cake can a 1 year old eat and how many friends do they REALLY have.  Oh and I forgot we can't possibly let the one year old eat the really fancy expensive fat princess crown cake, she needs her own "smush" "smash" "shove her hands in" cake.  So we can all stand here for 10 minutes while we direct a 1 year old on what to do the with the cake, so we can have the perfect picture to post on facebook, instagram, twitter, tumbler and whatever else there is out there that show our kids are the cutest and best kids around.  And while we are at it, let's strip them down naked now that they have cake all over them (because we were smart enough to give a 1 year old their own cake in the first place) and take some more pic's to post on FB of our naked child with cake.  Something about this pic reminds me of a Law and Order SVU episode....hmmm except there's grandparents and balloons instead of Ice T & central park.  So does that pretty much sum up everyone's else first birthday party experiences in 2014???

They've even invented 2 new baby events and I guess ways to drink with babies and let me explain them from a single persons point of view.  The one thing I do like about all these new baby parties is as long as your friends were alcoholics before marriage and children they still typically provide it at all of these events.  What I can't determine is it because they know you are miserable because they don't want to be there either.  They are miserable because of how much money they spent on this dumbass event, that will next week get blown out of the water by Mikayleah's 18 month birthday party, they just like to drink and why not at a 1 year olds birthday party, their husband wouldn't come if there wasn't alcohol, their friends wouldn't come if there wasn't alcohol?  
--First being a gender reveal party--  why yes I would love to come to your house and spend my perfect 75 degree and sunny Saturday afternoon in your yard standing around drinking beer with your family and a bunch of married people to see whether your cake has blue or pink icing, you found more blue or pink eggs in the yard, whether blue or pink balloons fly out the of box, whether there is blue or pink icing on the cupcakes in the box.  Wouldn't you just want to be the mother fucker that put Black Balloons in that box just once...????  Surprise these two suburban upper class white people aren't having a boy or a girl, they are having a BLACK CHILD.  Now that's a party I would like to go to.
--Second is a Sip and See, this you attend after the baby is born.  WHAT you don't know what a sip and see is, where the heck have you been?  OMG you are so out of the loop, I mean it's pretty self explanatory.  You sip your beverage of choice (yager bombs) and see the baby (hi whatever your name is).  See how it works, just another way for parents to get drunk, no wonder our kids are so dumb, their parents literally never stopped drinking except for about 7.5 months when their mom was like "Shit I missed my period. Dam-anm(2 syllabls) no vodka tonics until the 3rd trimester, but my doctor said a glass of wine a day was find, yesssss, didn't you hear that?"  So actually that math adds up to they stopped drinking for a week when they felt like a good person and that pregnant people shouldn't drink and they didn't want to be judged in public.  Either way maybe my friends having kids isn't as bad as I thought it would be.  It means they have more parties that provide alcohol, they are older, dual income, provide stuff better that Bush Light, Beast and Aristocrat (sometimes) and well I don't have to go to bed early or wake up @ 6am with a child, I call that WINNING!  So Gender Reveals, Sip and See's here I come...pop those babies out.

So let's talk about how we got to all these baby parties--- WEDDINGS-
Wedding are a whole other story... I've written about a lot of weddings on here, so I'll try and make this brief... but if you know me there is nothing about my stories that are brief.  Maybe this calls for a list-- yes we'll a try a list with details
Get Engaged--surprise, he's planned a surprise engagement party that night or weekend with your friends and family
-Send a special will you be my bridesmaid invite-- not a phone call or visit.  Could be invitation, could be a bottle of wine, could be paper doll, special wine & design night, could be baked lasagna with be my bridesmaid on the bottom of the pan, could be new picture frame with pic and message inside "will you be my bridesmaid"  Well I mean I can't say no now that you got me this fancy frame and put our picture in it?
-Save the date is sent-God forbid all our friends can't come, they are sooooo busy we must alert them immediately to our date and plaster our picture on their fridge for all their other friends to see we are the priority!
-Wedding dress/Bridesmaid dress shopping-- I've been so lucky this has only happened once.  But I've watched enough Say Yes to the Dress I'm an expert.  This will be whole other blog**
-Engagement party- parties, parties parties-- her town, his town, his parents friends, her parents friends, his college friends....blah blah blah--- All I hear is Free Booze and does someone have a couch I can crash on.  Man if I ever get a boyfriend, hope he can afford a hotel?
-Bridal Showers- Her church, his grandma's, her friends, his aunts and god forbid you don't register at Hudson Belk, now my grandmother for one will not buy you a wedding gift if she can't drive her little butt up to Belks (with an S) and buy a gift, she's not getting on-line(doesn't own a computer), she sure isn't driving to Raleigh.
-Bachelorette parties-What happened to just going to the beach with a few friends and getting really drunk and telling old stories.  Now it's Miami, New Orleans, Vegas, New York, Nashville.  Don't get wrong I love all those places, just my bank account doesn't and remember you about to be on a "JOINT ACCOUNT" and well it's still just me.  So unless your future husband has a rich single dad and you are looking for a step mom, let's keep it local!
- WEDDING-- The best night I never remember!!! Just last night I watched "the wedding of the century" video it was a great beautiful wedding and as I'm watching, I see us getting ready, make-up, hair cheers, walking down the isle, vows, being introduced, first dance, YEP there's the blackout moment, Soul train line, sparklers.... back up, yep I said BLACK OUT, somewhere between the first dance and the soul train line was the blackout moment.  There was a nice dinner in there, a toast, father daughter dance, a broken dress, a dress change, a photo booth, an awesome band.....all evident by this amazing video! 
My favorite part of all the weddings I've been in (no not like in 27 dresses, looking at the groom, when everyone looks at the bride- GET REAL)..um getting the email saying the pic's are up on the website, helping piece together what a totally epic night I "thought" I had and making it a reality or a dream crusher!
---And Finally now you think it's over no BITCH--- where's my THANK YOU NOTE-- In cursive!

So that's enough for today!  I'm back and going to try and be more loyal to all my readers...haha.  And keep posting and keep ya'll laughing.  This is me, this is real and this is not planet fitness it is a judgment zone!


Monday, November 26

A wedding... in Jail?

That's right folks, the queen of all weddings has now seen it all.  I went to a wedding on a Monday night.  Let me start from the beginning....

It was a regular Monday at work and my co-worker Alli had come in with her new engagement ring, she and her BF had been dating for two years.  They had gotten engaged on Sunday and she was soooo happy and excited.  Then a few minutes later another co-worker Robin came over to ask about our weekend and I excitedly said "Alli got engaged", she congratulated Alli and then began tapping her fingers on my desk.  I asked was there something else she needed, she said no and kept tapping.  Then one of our co-workers noticed Robin's ring... "YOU'RE ENGAGED??"  She said "YESSSS" in her drawn out southern accent.  And we were all like WHHHHAAAATTT???  I feel like just a few weeks ago I was coaching her on how to eat/like sushi with her new BF that she had just began dating.  That is right just a few weeks before they were having their first date and now engaged??  How does this happen?  And can she teach me how to catch a man that fast, get engaged, with a gorgeous ring, move into his house, get married and be on the verge of quitting her JOB (that is just my personal opinion). 

So one week later on a dreary Monday, Robin comes to my desk and says what are you doing tonight? Working (which is always my answer these days)... she asked if I could get off tonight and meet her at the COURTHOUSE???  Well now I'm not about to pass up the chance to be a part of a wedding, especially at the court house on a Monday night... what do think blogs are for...to tell stories like this.  So I said yes. Robin called me on the way asking what she should wear?  I told her I was wearing a black dress and she said she was too.  I told her I guess when it's your 4th wedding in a courthouse you can wear whatever you want???  A bikini for all I care.... but that would've made a great story too.

I drove my little happy WITNESS butt down to the Johnston County Courthouse and in all my 30 years.. that' right folks in 30 years of living/growing up in Smithfield I did not know where the magistrates office was.  I don't really think I've been much in the courthouse except to pay some taxes or something, so I think that is a good thing.  Then I find out the magistrates office is in the JAIL...  So I walk down to the jail, which is directly across from my church.  I do now realize I have been here once before to sing Christmas Carols.  So as I'm sitting and waiting in the jail, Robin calls they are running late.  So as I'm sitting this nice police lady comes in and does a double take on me... Holden? Royall?  Hey it's Bri Prince from middle school.  Wow who'd thunk I would be sitting in the Jail and run into a middle school friend who was NOT in jail, but working there.  So we chatted and caught up for a minute, then she got a call that a suburban had been stole' at the T-Mart.  Oh the T-mart brings back memories, we used to stop there every morning on the way to school and we had to do paper, rock, scissors to see who had to go in because if you went in you came out smelling like FRIED CHICKEN all day long.  Oh man missing their tater wedges.  Anyway Brianna had to go back to work, so there I was just sitting again.  The door opens and in walks Mr. Broughton, my sisters friend's dad, who lives down the street from me.  He looks puzzled and asked why I was there, I proudly proclaimed for a wedding, he responded with how romantic?  Then a trooper drives down the ramp with a man in custody and the other trooper stuck his head in and said Mam' what's your name?  Are you with the guy in the trooper car?  I said NO.  After pondering for a moment he stuck his head back in and said are you sure, I said yeah I'm here for a wedding.  FYI--you can get married 24/7 at the Magistrates office, never closes, just like the jail.  You do have to have all your paperwork prepared before hand, so no drunken night at the LBJ can you end up married at the JOCO courthouse, although I'm sure it's come close to happening.

Ok Bride and Groom arrive, groom picks up phone to be buzzed into... well pretty much the Jail.  It's the magistrates area, which is where you also go to visit people in jail or bail them out... all one the same place.  So guess who is the Magistrate, that's right Mr. Broughton, so he stands on one side of plexi glass, bride, groom and 2 witnesses and photographer!  Yep there were pics (included).  They say a few things, recite the vows like any normal wedding.  It was really cute, because they were just standing there staring at each other (not much other place to look), but it was very intimate and sweet.  And saves a TON of money...not such a bad idea.  I really felt apart of it, I was RIGHT there, I mean right there.

Then we were done, they kissed and we went to Kobe Japanese steak house for the reception!!  When the bill came the groom passed to me and said thanks Holden.  I kindly handed it back to him and said hope we are good at washing dishes.  He took it back and said this is one reception I can afford to pay for... haha

Congrats to Robin and Mike and thanks for letting me be a Witness... can I get a Witness to your special day!

Monday, July 23

Bachelor Pad

Bachelor Pad
--Here we go, let's meet the contestants

Lindsay Cox from Ben's season, she is cute but being really annoying, like OMG all the boys are sooo hot.
Ryan- Deanna 28 year old virgin
Chris-Emily's season, I used to think he was a crepper, but now he is kinda cute.  I might like Chris
Sarah- Brad's first season--no clue who she was, still don't remember her
Reid- Ed's frenemy, this is a great dynamic
Ed- Jillian's season, the winner who then cheated on Jillian....oh well he's back.
Rachael- Ben's season, gap in teeth, nose ring and now BACK FAT
Jaclyn- Ben's season, she has a college degree and she is sooo much smarter than everyone else.  I love her humor and making fun of everyone.
Tony the tiger from Emily's season, BORING
Blakley- did she just get dropped off from the mall, her outfit is straight out of fovever 21.  Atlteast Jacyln noticed and called her out

Did Lindsay really ask if the guys were here to win money or hook-up with someone?  Really do you have to ask that, have you ever watched the show.

Jamie- Ben's season, crazy kisser...
Michael- Jillian's season-- he is sooo funny and ready to win some money, kinda over him
Erica Rose-Lorenzo's season-- Love her she is soooo cray cray and drama with Kalon!
Kalon-Love him!!!!  He's a douchebag and makes no excuses about it!  Erica Rose look out.

Wow Erica is making issues about her looks.  And he just said she got naked on TV.  Brutally honest Kalon, LOVE IT!!  Watch out ladies, Kalon is out to get you.
I'm not going to lie the fan thing is kinda weird, it's like promoting stalking

Donna-Fan, fake boobs, loves Michael.  She loves to wear her bikini and wants to wear it all the time.  We'll see how many people this slut hooks up with.
Chris- SWAT-- he is cute and watches bachelor pad in his PJ's while drinking wine.  And they probably made him ask Chris Harrison for a pic, I mean who would want a pic with him.
Paige-she seems like the most normal, until she said she liked Chris
David- little man syndrome...never gonna make it
Twins--Virgin and Vagina --they are busted, have bad skin and are like middle school girls.  They are robots and so OVER THEM...wow they are dumb.

Wow I wish we could have two seasons of bachelor pad and skip bachelor...boo

Now let's get the party started!  Ed has already taking his clothes off.  Wow there is lots of alcohol and people are wasted.  Wondering since Chris arrived first is he the drunkest, he could've been taking shots by himself.
Rules--blah blah Chris Harrison is only there to hook-up with the cast off's now that he's getting divorced.  Vote each other off, so make a connection.  Ed doesn't seem to care and it's great.  He's making a joke of this whole thing and it's hilarious!

Reid --Page-- read the page...loser, boring.
Erica Rose- Nick--- she does not want the help to be her partner
Blakely- Chris--ohh you picked me, I feel so lucky and we are going to have SEX tonight.  Blakely you are the hoochie
Kalon-Donna the newbie
Ed- Jaclyn-- they are both crazy and don't give a shit about what others are saying.
Sarah- Micahel
Twins and Dave
Rachel-Chris- Swat
Michael- Sarah
--I think I'm missing a few..oh well.
I think Blakely and Chris might win, they are both strong.....
this looks really hard and they held it out

The Twin and Dave--Fans won the challenge.  Well I think they won well becasue they are both MIDGETS!!  And everyone hates it...haha.  They really are annoying, but they better win every challenge or they are going home.

Who cares about the dates, they are such stalkers... this is just like vieana and, this is just like courtney and ben so let's get NAKED!!!
Blakely is a stalker adn cray cray, stay away from cray cray...don't stick your penis in cray cray.  You go Jamie, you were so cute and nice during Ben's season.  They are cute together, but you know the cray cray is gonna bust in.  And there is tons of alchol which leads to talking, more talking and kissing...whooooo.  Make out sesh, love a good make out sesh.  Blakely you are dumb and care about this guy in the 24 hours that you have known him.  You are just sad because you probably made out with him last night and now he's making out with someone else.....sooooo typical GIRL.

The dudes are lying in the bed drinking beer....why other guys are scrambling eggs... beer and eggs, sounds like breakfast of champions.  SO you basically win by being the best liar.  What a great lesson we are learning from ABC.

Well goodbye Paige, you seemed nice and maybe you and Reid can meet again.  Goodbye Swat, you were way cuter than that other fan.  Oh well he will probably be going home next week.  Lata!

Monday, July 2

I'm feeling hot hot hot

Wowza can anyone say hotness?  And I don't mean in a hot and bothered kinda way, well maybe I do a little bit because I did go see Magic Mike.  And if you haven't heard of Magic Mike you are living in a bubble.  It's has really hot guys that strip and that is really all you need to know. It was a hot and bothered kinda afternoon, good thing the air conditioning in that movie was turned way down, as in really really cool.  It was great and all single ladies should go see it.

But no I'm talking about heat in general, does this heat make you want to do crazy things?  Does the heat make people crazy?  I mean it made Katie Holmes divorce Tom Cruise or was that just the marriage contract that ran out.  I really really want to just stay in my house for a few days.  I went to run errands yesterday at 10am and was sweating just walking from the car to the store.  And unloading all my groceries all at once, NO WAY.  I made one trip with the perishables, (with the car still running), then ran another errand, then unloaded the rest.  Actually the sodas are still in my car, hope they didn't explode?  I mean something must be seriously wrong if I want water in stead of diet coke, seriously my brain must be baked from being so hot.  How can I live without caffine, but yet how can I live without water.   So there is no real point to all of that, except I pretty much hate being hot.  I went on a date last night and was SOOOO hot...sorry told my date I wouldn't write about it in my blog.  But if you know me, my blog is my life, so here is goes..... just kidding.

So my favorite holiday is July 4th and it is quickly approaching.  Yes it's the best holiday because it's in the summer, ususally means you are at the beach, with family, friends, drinks, hot dogs and all the other wonderful summer stuff.  Well not this year, the first year in MY LIFE I will not be at the beach.  I'm really trying to come to terms with it.  I mean who puts July 4th on a Wednesday, that should just be a rule that July 4th can't be on a Wednesday.  I tried to google how many times that has happened and well it did happen in 2007 which is the summer I started my new job the week after July 4th, so I guess I was on vacay for the week, maybe why I don't remember it being a big deal.  Maybe because back then I didn't have a big girl job and actually have to take vacation days.  So this year of COURSE I asked off for the 4th, but this other lady I work with had a wedding the next weekend out of town, I mean who gets married near/on July 4th???  So being the good co-worker that I am, said I was flexible and now have off the entire next week to spend with family at the beach.  I'm so excited for that, first time since I was in high school that I get to go for the entire week.
Awesome.  But for now I'm having people over for July 4th cookout, we are acting like kids, I have fun kids sprinklers (that I borrowed from my babysitting people) and maybe a slip in slide, Blueberry Julip's, Chillie Willies, loud music, daytime drinking, I might have a few floats in my front yard (no pool or pond?), hotdogs, baked beans, jello shots (that don't melt on the boat), dizzy bat, other drinking games and fun stuff for the yard.  Sounds pretty exciting, I'm pretty excited about it!!  So forget about not being at the beach and just ENJOY YO'SELF and enjoy whatever it is that you are doing this holiday and try to remember that it is about our independce.   Remember all those men and women that have fought and are still fighting for our country.

Thursday, June 21

Rockers and Strippers

Movies...  Soooo it's summer time the movie blockbusters are coming out left and right.  I recently went to see Rock of Ages, a pick by my dad for Father's day.  My two sisters, my dad and Cathy all went to see this movie on a Sunday afternoon.  Well if you know anything about me you know I love a good musical and a musical with rock and roll music....GGGGRREEAAT.  So the gist of the movie is there is a small town girl (Julianne Hough) who moves to Hollywood to get famous, meets cute boy, gets job in bar called Bourbon room, where all these bands play.  There is a washed up Rock Star (Tom Cruise) who is trying to start a solo career after breaking free of his band.  And the story is about how their lives intertwine and add a little rock and roll music and there you gooooo... a musical called Rock of Ages.  Now in the first scene of the movie they start playing a song and I glance over at my dad who is beside me and we are both nodding our head and tapping our foot just alike.  I always knew we both had great taste in music especially when I was little we would listen to tapes...yes I said tapes of Steppenwolf and Lynyrd Skynyrd.  I'm pretty sure my first song after "are you happy and you know it clap your hands" was "gimme three steps, gimme three steps mister, gimme three steps towards the door."  I still to this day know all the words to that song, along with both of my sisters.  So the movie is going on and we are jamming maybe just because I loved all the songs in the movie, maybe because I was there with my family, maybe because it brought back childhood memories of hanging out my dad.  It was the perfect choice for all of us to see together.  Now those stronger movie critics out there, Jane and Cathy weren't singing the praises of the movie as much as Julia, Dad and I were.  But I still think it was a great get together for all, rarely can we get all five us on the same schedule and to be quiet for two hours...haha.  So after the movie we standing there watching the credits, jamming to the last song and my dad casually says I partied with Quiet Riot one time.  Say what?  Cum on feel the noise is probably their most popular song. 
For more info visit http://www.officialquietriot.com/ 
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So after a statement like that, we demand an explanation, can't wait to hear this.  So as most Jimmy Royall stories start out..... well this one time when your mom and I....... were Acapulco we were at the bar and this man had on a UNC tarheels hat.  So naturally as any good Royall would do I struck up a conversation saying I was from NC, this guys was the manager of Quiet Riot and was from Greensboro.  Then he took us out to the beach to meet some of the guys in the band and they wanted to go para sailing, so I went para sailing with two of the guys from Quiet Riot.  Then after that they invited us back to a party at their house.  Sooooo did you go???  Yeah of course.  The story kinda faded at this point, I guess back in the 80's what happened with Quiet Riot stays with Quiet Riot.... haha what a great story.  Now for a second I found myself asking, is this story true??  Now why if my dad was going to make up a story about meeting rockstars would it about Quiet Riot, so I determinded it was probably true along with all the rest of my dad's crazy stories.  -Maybe those should have their own blog soon.
So I give the movie two thumbs up, I give my dad's story two thumbs up and I say everyone should defiantly see this movie.

Now Magic Mike is coming out is June 29th and I can't wait.  It's starring Channing Tatum, Matthew Mcconaughey, Alex Pettyfer (I am four, Beastly...HOT) and Joe Manganiello (Alcide from True Blood).  If those four names aren't enough to make you go watch, check this out.

So it's about an older stripper (Mcconaughey) that teaches a young stripper (Tatum) how to party, pick up women and make easy money.  It's loosely based on Tatum real life.  He was a stripper before getting into acting.  I don't really care what it's about, I am for sure going to see this and hopefully as soon as it comes out.  Hopefully it's good and I can go see it again, because I think I would have many good nights of sleep dreaming about these hotties.

Now I'm sure there are other movies of the summer, but these peaked my interest and I'll be sure to let you know about Magic Mike afterwards.... but might takes a few days to recover from my weak in the knees feeling from this film.

Happy Weekend ya'll!!!!!