The Widow

Ok I'm sitting down and watching the bachelorette..... bring on the crazy guys!  So we are all tuned in to see if Emily can find the love for the THIRD time, that's right the THIRD love of her life.  Some people never find love, and yet we are watching this girl and some how making her famous find watching her find love AGAIN...  but yet I can't change the channel, I can't stop watching.
So now onto the men, now that is what we are really watching this for....
First Impressions
1.Kalen- Houston Tx---GAY, his suit cost more than my entire closet.  He is just some Dallas socialitte
2.Ryan- Augusta, GA- played pro football... needs a straightener, what the hell is up with his spiked hair, needs a new do, dont like him...seems kinda dumb
3. Tony- Oregon- Sells Wood (plays with it) and jumps rope...oh 3rd guy and we already have a "daddy"...how could we not resist him.  You should've used condoms in college... and shave the soul patch!
4. Larone- Token Black guy- real estate...with a little dog, little dog=little penis
5. David- New York City- GAY, singer/song writer, just wants to be famous
---When are we going to see a straight guy???
6. Charlie Nashville, TN--he is kinda cute and how can you not feel sorry for him and his head injury...he is also friends with famous baseball player Dan Uggla, read that somewhere else.  Cute Bulldog!  CUTIE
7. Jeff, Salt Lake City--entrepreneur which means he's a drug dealer or unemployed...or sells bottled water.. seems a little lame
8. Arie-Race Car Drive--WINNER, she needs another sugar daddy!  He's making it to the final!

Emily is such a bobble head!  Her head is so big and her botox helps hide her emotions, she's super excited, but we can't tell at all.  And she wants babies.... the first batchelorette to get a baby at the end instead of a RING!

Next group of guys-getting out of limo
9. Sean, Dallas--Blondie, cute...whitney says Sean from American Pyscho
5. David--tan Blazer not hot!  Looks gay
10. John Seattle, he's tall ... another KID...how many baby daddies are on this show?
11. Jackson- Fitness Model, Gay and gay... blush and bashful were his colors
12.  Joe, LA-- Drunk frat guy, he is ready to PAR-TAY
8. Arie again..he seems a little nicer, not as duouch without the racecar
14. Kyle, LBC--rolling with Snoop, she likes blue, seems normal and nice
15. Chris- serial killer, he is blessed and we would be more blessed if you would talk less
16.Aaron- Glasses teacher, a little lab joke...Chemistry
17. Alessandro-- mullet..latin, brazil... the whitest brazilain I have ever seen.  She looks confused?
7. Jeff.--again....Skate Boarder, did he get his hair done by the wind....skate boarding because he has no license, he looks like a baby.
4. Black guy, not making it
18. Stevie--- Stevie Levey---- brought his Boombox, WOW love it, but hate the green shirt, is he from Jersey?
6. Charlie--again...he is still cute again, purple and tan
3. Tony-charming...aka douche....glass is breakable just like your face if you get to close

Thanks to our sponsors AXE and hair gel... oh the shit talking begins

19. Grandma--just plain weird...oh and your name is Randy the leprechaun.  Now she is never talking to you again
20. Nate- Hey NATE!!!whewwww hot and Accountant...Emily agrees
21. Brent-kinda of silly looking....here comes something silly....and NAME TAG, really
22. John "Wolf" -Shredder.....is that why you are called Wolf?
23.We have an egg? Travis from, his voice is a little high.  How does an egg symbolize the love of her and her daughter?
24. Haircut- Michael, our first girl on the bachelor...Music Mike
25. Jean-Paul-All Black dude....and he admits to knowing nothing about her.
26. Alejandro-- we now have subtitles?  San Fran-Gay..although I would love to listen to him talk
2. Ryan- Augusta again--secret love notes, check yes or no
1. Kalon--helicopter, what a double douchbag...


SO now onto the embarrasing moments.. Oh we already know about Charlie's titanium head piece
Brent we have already heard about Brents kids....wandering black guy in the background
Then we see the "Casey" of this season Chris..STALKER...oh no is it a gun, oh it's just a bobble head of myself that I'm giving to.....she really get her own bobble head, she just needs to look in the mirror. WOW weird, there is a spark, when you rub two wood things together? Things that make you go hmmmm But she likes him, Count'em to the final Four
Skateboarder and my sister Julia have the same haircut. 
A note from home and how could good my sone can trace exacly what I wrote.
Also just found drunk frat guys mug shot...hahaha arrested for underage drinking...bhhaaa
Arie's putting his best foot forward with telling her about Racing...Countem' to the Final Four
Aww Doug one of the baby daddies got the first impression rose
The guy with 6 six kids needs to meet up with Kate Gosslin and open a sweat shop!

Geez there are a few cute ones....Charlie, Arie, Nate, Kalon

Does everyone on this show cry?  What the heck is up with these previews?
So I have Chris "Bobbley Head" and Arie "Race Car" going to the final four....not sure about who my other two are?  I like Charlies, FOR ME, can I date him if she doesn't pick him, he is right up my alley, hard headed...haha.  And Nate is hot too and normal.  But I kept seeing a lot of shots of Jeff "Skateboarder" so I'm not going to count him out..... So I guess that might be my final 5

I'm sorry Emily missed out on a great body, but I'm glad we got to see it....take it all off and you could make some more money.  Next time blazer no shirt, just a thought.

Ok until next week.... on the Widow.